Healthy relationships are the dream of every person. All serious alliances between people, both love and friendship, are built solely on trust. It is trust that gives relationships a base, allows you to feel a sense of security, confidence in your partner, and, therefore, not to be tormented by doubts. Where doubts begin, trust in a relationship dies.
Trust as a state of a person’s inner world is caused by a desire to have good relationships with other people. It is connected with openness and oriented towards reciprocity; it is impossible to trust a person completely closed to you.
This feeling allows:
– To frankly speak out and find understanding, thanks to which a person feels psychologically comfortable.
– To deepen the relationship. A true strong friendship is obtained thanks to trust, and sympathy turns into love under similar conditions.
Why is it important to trust a partner?
What is trust in a relationship? During the period of courtship, both a woman and a man behave differently than usual. We all try to seem better and do not pay attention to the little things, and new feelings overshadow previous experience.
But the romantic period ends, and our previous life traumas or relationship anxiety appear on the surface again – we begin to scan our partner, trying to determine how much they can be trusted.
Having grown up, we already understand that you cannot trust everyone, and once deceived, we remember the pain forever. But it is impossible to build a healthy relationship without risk; sometimes you just have to believe a partner and worry less. That is why it is important to understand what trust is in a relationship.
This is not just confidence in the behavior of another person – it is an opportunity for frank communication.
Thanks to trust you can:
– Avoid suffering from guesses what your partner wanted, and how they will react to your words in the process of communication.
– In a quarrel, find a common language and become even closer to each other.
A high degree of sincerity allows one to interpret the partner’s actions from the best side (most actions can be interpreted in two ways).
It is the lack of trust that makes us perceive completely innocent jokes or random mistakes as an attempt to offend us. We consider the absence of violent emotions to be a manifestation of indifference, and active communication with a member of the opposite sex is a sign of emotional cheating. As a result, life becomes unbearable, and our relationship rapidly deteriorates – nothing destroys love as much as jealousy and suspicion.
Where does distrust come from?
Trust is the foundation of true love, but this foundation is fragile, and people who had a negative experience are extremely vulnerable. Trust implies following the obligations given to someone, and these obligations may be:
– Universal, implied automatically by our society and basic norms of morality and propriety (to be faithful, to fulfill promises, etc.).
– Specific, associated with the individual characteristics of partners. They most often influence the formation of trusting relationships. People, brought up in different conditions, have different outlook concerning relationships – what one perceives as the norm, the other takes as a betrayal. At the same time, partners often do not know about each other’s expectations, and, therefore, are not able to fulfill them. But not living up to somebody’s expectations is not deceiving.
Also, distrust of people and the world in general can be associated with childhood experiences and the behavior pattern peculiar to each family – if there was no trust in the family, you can unconsciously perceive this as the norm.
For trusting relationships you need:
- In the process of communication, ask clarifying questions to understand what your partner means.
- Be able to listen to your partner.
- Frankly talk about what you think.
- Try to understand the partner and perceive them the way they are.
How to learn to trust again?
Unfulfilled expectations lead to a breakup and cause serious injury to the offended party. “The insult will pass, but trust will not come back,” as they say. Because the guilty one will experience torments of conscience and, as a result, hidden aggression. The victim will experience righteous anger. As a result, such relationships are doomed. To deserve the right to be trusted again is not easy – you can only build new relationships together. For this you need to:
- Realize that your partner is also suffering and stop hiding feelings.
- Be open to dialogue and avoid accusations and insults.
- Discuss existing relationships, explicit and implicit agreements, as well as changes necessary for good relationships.